Monday, September 22, 2014

Feminist philosophy

It's amusing to see women hesitant to endorse perv-shaming for fear that doing so will come back to haunt women:
Slut-shaming is wrong. We all know that – even Robin Thicke could probably hazard a guess in that direction. Ditto fat-shaming. It’s never OK to publically humiliate someone because of their gender, weight or relationship history.

But what about shaming someone for being sleazy?

Welcome to the murky world of perv-shaming, where young women are publically naming and shaming men who have supposedly sexually harassed, or assaulted them. There was a prime example this week, when American bartender Laura Ramadei wrote an open letter on Facebook to a man who allegedly groped her.... In posting Lederman's personal details online, Ramadei’s actions reflect a wider trend - that for seeking justice via social media. She is relying on people power to hand down a public and humiliating punishment.

There's no mention of reporting Lederman to anyone official.

Of course, this is a one off. An isolated incident. But, other recent examples are more serious - I'm thinking of the movement started by video games fans, called #Gamergate, aimed at publicly shaming certain female players.... These women are victims of online mobs. Just like victims of revenge porn - where ex-partners post explicit photos and personal information about women online - they have been publicly and unfairly named and shamed.

They deserve our sympathy. But does someone like Lederman?

After all, he allegedly groped a young woman. And he definitely made a sexually inappropriate joke about taking her ‘to go’. But does that justify Ramadei posting his personal details on the internet and perv-shaming him?

It’s a complex issue. On one hand, raising awareness about sexual harassment is incredibly important. Websites like the Everyday Sexism project have shown us that. But there is a difference between highlighting a problem and becoming a vigilante.
Observe the woman's dilemma. If slut-shaming and fat-shaming is wrong, then so is perv-shaming. And if perv-shaming is right, then what is the argument against slut-shaming and fat-shaming? After all, sluttery and obesity are considerably easier to prove than a claim to have been bottom-pinched.

These are the deep philosophical questions with which the feminists of today must wrestle. Notice that male occupations such as the Beautiful and the True don't come into it, as the central concern is "could it have the consequence of making women feel bad".

Sunday, September 21, 2014

The perils of a generous heart

Women admire generosity in men, right up to the point that it negatively affects their own lives:
A multi-millionaire who gave away £16million to help cancer patients after his wife survived the disease has ended up losing his home, possessions and even his spouse.

Brian Burnie, who owns a recruitment business, paid for his wife Shirley's treatment when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and became so inspired he devoted his life to helping other sufferers.

But after selling the family home, cars and possessions, the couple have divorced as Mrs Burnie reveals she could no longer put up with her husband's generosity.

Shirley and Brian Burnie divorced in 2012 after the 70-year-old businessman sold their 10-acre estate and all of their belongings when his wife was given the all-clear from breast cancer

Speaking for the first time since their 2012 split, Mrs Burnie told the Sunday Mirror: 'I didn't want to give everything away. I wanted security for us and our family.'
There are few things I find as annoying as women's charity with the money their husbands make. The fact that it is a form of conspicuous consumption rather than genuine charity couldn't be more obvious when it comes to their reluctance to doing the same with the money they earn themselves, or the money that they thought was going to provide them security.

You can't really blame the woman for not being happy with her husband giving away his wealth, on the other hand, it underlines that while he may have signed up for the "sickness or in health", she didn't sign up for "poverty or in wealth".

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Beware Lucifer's daughters

An interesting article on the female predator archetype:
In this article I introduce to you the dark triad woman or as I and a close friend refer to them as, “a Lucifer’s daughter” the term Lucifer’s daughter was affectionately chosen to aptly describe the cold, evil nature of the dark triad female, so much so that, if one were religious – they would deem such a woman to be a spawn of the devil himself. Dark triad women are incredibly calculating, they have virtually no morals, they’re incredibly opportunistic, they’re unfeeling (towards others) whilst being very good at simulating inauthentic feelings purely for the purposes of deception. They’re emotionally and rationally solipsistic to a point where their perception of other people (including women, not just men) can be succinctly summed up as  “what does this person do for me, if nothing, what could they do for me and how can I manipulate them into providing that for me?” Lucifer’s daughters are sadistic, I say they’re dark triad because the term is more familiar to the readership, but due to their sadism, they’d much more accurately be described as dark tetrad.

Lucifer’s daughters are women whose core personality is shrouded in a thinly concealed barely contained undying rage, they are of an adversarial disposition and extremely emotionally violent. They have a tendency to over accentuate a neonatal appearance in order to better allow them to win people’s hearts and sympathies easier through their insincere aesthetic display of innocence. They are in essence, the closest thing to a Venus fly trap a human can be, watch out for that lip gloss. These are women of incredible psychological prowess whom utilise the power of the victim in all it’s perverse and incredible might to gain hordes upon hordes of allies who will put themselves on the line so that she need not, to a Lucifer’s daughter there is no sanctity in human life, any man or woman who can be used up as a consumable to fulfil her aims is entirely disposable.
It's an interesting article marred only by the author's failure to understand that he is describing female psychopathy. Psychopathy is not logic versus emotion, but a complete lack of empathy. I've known a few of this type; they tended to gravitate towards a friend of mine. Interestingly enough, I've observed that they tend to be afraid of men with a Dark Triad trait or two.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Teach women not to rape

TIME observes that women rape men as often as men rape women:
For many feminists, questioning claims of rampant sexual violence in our society amounts to misogynist “rape denial.” However, if the CDC figures are to be taken at face value, then we must also conclude that, far from being a product of patriarchal violence against women, “rape culture” is a two-way street, with plenty of female perpetrators and male victims.

How could that be? After all, very few men in the CDC study were classified as victims of rape: 1.7 percent in their lifetime, and too few for a reliable estimate in the past year. But these numbers refer only to men who have been forced into anal sex or made to perform oral sex on another male. Nearly 7 percent of men, however, reported that at some point in their lives, they were “made to penetrate” another person—usually in reference to vaginal intercourse, receiving oral sex, or performing oral sex on a woman. This was not classified as rape, but as “other sexual violence.”

And now the real surprise: when asked about experiences in the last 12 months, men reported being “made to penetrate”—either by physical force or due to intoxication—at virtually the same rates as women reported rape (both 1.1 percent in 2010, and 1.7 and 1.6 respectively in 2011).

In other words, if being made to penetrate someone was counted as rape—and why shouldn’t it be?—then the headlines could have focused on a truly sensational CDC finding: that women rape men as often as men rape women.
I was a victim of a female rapist. Where was the candlelight vigil on my behalf? Why was she never prosecuted? There is clearly a female rape culture and a conspiracy of silence protecting the women rapists in our midst.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Why men prefer clean breakups

There is no lasting grief like that of a woman deprived of her drama:
So what is it about men that they can't end relationships with manners, dignity and, yes, some emotion? Why do they think it'll be easier for the woman if they don’t show their feelings, rather than shed a tear and at least come up with a lame excuse?

I've been subjected to many crass dumpings since I first kissed a boy 30 years ago, and I've no doubt my experiences are pretty standard

There are ways for men to dispatch a woman, and Rory clearly needs some practice. As does the spineless worm who dumped my sister after passionately courting her for almost six months. Literally all he said was ‘goodbye’ before walking out. No wonder she was left sobbing on my sofa for weeks.

Just last weekend, several years after the event, we had a ceremonial shredding of the love letters - great sheaves of them. And, still, she kept asking, 'Why?' During her emotional outpourings, my sister was lamenting not only the end of a long relationship but the fact there wasn't a reason for the ending.

The loss was bad enough but the not knowing why was worse. There must have been a why, it's just that the man - and, let's be honest, most men - found it nigh-on impossible to express it.

Women need closure, while men seem able to suppress their emotions and build impenetrable walls around unfinished aspects of their lives, as if those loose ends no longer exist.
Not that she actually wants to know, but the main reason a man simply walks away without an explanation is that he knows perfectly well that no matter what he says, it's not going to make any difference anyhow. He's still going to be the villain of the piece. After all, when a woman has repeatedly shown that she has no interest in anything you say and no respect for anything you believe, what is the point of telling her why you don't want to be around her any longer?

I've told women exactly why I'm not continuing the relationship and they don't react to it any better than when I simply stopped calling them or taking their calls. By the time a man gets sufficiently fed up to want to walk away, he doesn't want to explain himself or argue or fight, he just wants out.

And in many cases, the final straw sounds a little stupid. The man knows that it's going to sound ridiculous, but the point is that it is the final straw. It's not the singular reason.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Why women shouldn't vote: Scottish edition

It was entirely predictable that Scottish women would vote against freedom and independence:
Among women, however, an increasing number are coming down in favour of voting No. The results show that the No campaign now has a 16 point lead among women who have decided which way to vote - up from 14 points on Sunday. Some 58 per cent of women say they will vote No on Thursday, with 42 per cent planning to vote Yes, among those who have reached a decision.

Men are more evenly split but more than half – 53 per cent – now back independence.
Women voting. A free and independent society. Choose one. The choice between the two is rarely so obvious as this, though.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Start sooner

It's a good thought, but in reality, young women should start prioritizing family over career no later than 25:
'When you're in your twenties, everything is about you. But when you enter your thirties, your world then begins to centre around your family.

'I know I said in the past that I was putting my career first, but when you reach your thirties, things change.

‘You get to a point where you seriously have to think about choosing between work and having babies.
Still, it's interesting to see that the younger actresses putting their careers on hold instead of working, remaining single, then adopting an token African child-substitute in their mid-40s as their predecessors are doing. One has to suspect there may be a connection between the two things.